How to Choose Your Wedding Photographer: Questions You Should Actually Ask

Choosing your wedding photographer is one of the most important decisions you’ll make when planning your day.

Not because of the budget.
Not because of the packages.
Not even because of the style.

It’s important because your photographs are the one part of your wedding that grows more valuable with time.
They become the way you remember your day.
The way you see your love.
The way your children and grandchildren will one day understand the beginning of your story.

But with social media overflowing with gorgeous images and endless recommendations, the choice can feel… overwhelming.

So today, I want to take you through the questions that actually matter — the ones that go beyond the surface and help you find the photographer who genuinely fits you, your relationship and your wedding day.

Not the questions people expect you to ask, but the ones that will help you feel safe, seen and completely understood.

1. “How do you want my wedding day to feel?”

You might not think to ask this, but it reveals everything.

A photographer’s answer shows their values, their style, and the experience they aim to give you.

Some photographers want the day to feel editorial.
Some want it to feel bold and dramatic.
Some want it to feel romantic and curated.

My answer?
I want your day to feel real.
Honest.
Joyful.
Emotional.
And completely yours.

The feeling matters more than the posing because when the feeling is right, the photographs follow naturally.

2. “What draws you to wedding photography?”

This question goes straight to their why.

Their answer will tell you if they photograph weddings because:

– they love documenting emotion
– they love the chaos and joy
– they love genuine moments
– they love telling stories
– they love the rawness of a wedding day
– they resonate with human connection

Or if they simply like the industry.

You deserve someone whose heart lights up when they talk about capturing love.

3. “How much of the day do you direct, and how much do you let unfold naturally?”

This is where you understand their style.

Some photographers love posing and directing.
Some love candid, documentary-style storytelling.
Many sit somewhere in the middle.

If you want real, honest, natural images, you need someone who knows how to step back.

My approach?

I direct lightly where needed (portraits, groups, confetti),
but I let your day unfold naturally everywhere else.

Your wedding is not a photoshoot.
It’s a story unfolding in real time, and you should be in it, not performing for it.

4. “What moments matter most to you on a wedding day?”

A photographer’s answer reveals what they look for - connection, emotion, movement, stillness, details, family dynamics, storytelling.

For me, it’s always the small, intimate pockets of meaning:

– a parent’s shaky breath before the aisle
– the look between you during vows
– hands being held tightly
– laughter during speeches
– tears that escape at the quietest moments
– grandparents observing from the edges
– in-between glances people don’t realise they’re giving

These are the moments that last - the emotional anchors of your story.

5. “How do you make camera-shy people feel comfortable?”

This is essential.

Most couples aren’t models.
Most don’t pose naturally.
Most worry they’ll look awkward.

A good photographer knows how to dissolve that fear with:

– gentle prompts
– connection-led direction
– humour
– reassurance
– an atmosphere where you can be yourselves

If the photographer speaks with empathy and confidence, you’ll know you’re in safe hands.

6. “Can we see a full wedding gallery?”

Instagram highlights are not enough.

A full gallery shows:

– how they handle tricky lighting
– how they tell the story from start to finish
– how many images you can expect
– whether the style is consistent
– how they photograph real moments

A photographer with a strong story-driven approach will be proud to show you a full wedding.

7. “How do you handle unexpected situations?”

Weddings are unpredictable.

Rain.
Running late.
Lost flowers.
Windy veils.
Kids being kids.
Unexpected emotions.

You want someone calm, steady and adaptable - someone who sees unexpected moments as opportunities, not obstacles.

I always say:
The imperfect moments often become the most meaningful images.

8. “What’s included in your packages, and what matters most to you about the experience?”

Of course, price matters, but so does value.

Ask about:

– hours of coverage
– number of images
– delivery times
– editing style
– album options
– second photographers
– travel
– how they communicate
– what the experience looks like

But more importantly:
How invested are they in your story?

The relationship between you and your photographer should feel like trust, not a transaction.

9. “What made your favourite wedding to photograph special?”

This is a beautiful question because:

Their answer won’t be about the venue.
Or the dress.
Or the décor.

It will be about:

– emotion
– connection
– people
– moments that surprised them
– a story that stayed with them

Those shared values matter.

10. “How do you protect the story of our day?”

This is deeper than you might think.

A good documentary photographer protects your story by:

– staying present
– anticipating moments
– photographing without interfering
– capturing real emotion
– being mindful of family dynamics
– honouring the quieter moments as much as the loud ones

This question tells you whether they respect the intimacy of your day.

**The Most Important Question of All…

“Do we feel comfortable with you?”**

You don’t need to phrase it like that.
It’s something you simply feel.

Because here’s the truth:

You will spend
more time with your photographer on your wedding day
than almost anyone else.

You laugh together, breathe together, move together through the most emotional parts of your day.

If you don’t feel safe - emotionally, physically, or creatively - it will show.

When the connection is right?

The photographs become magic.

If You’re Reading This and Thinking… “This Sounds Like What I Want”

Then we might be a perfect fit.

My approach is warm, documentary-led and deeply rooted in real emotion.
I capture the moments you’ll want to remember —
the small ones, the quiet ones, the unexpected ones,
and the ones that take your breath away.

If you’d like your wedding story to be told with honesty, heart and a gentle touch,
I’d love to chat with you.

Love,
Jo x